


Realization

by Angelfishxxx



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Arranged Marriage, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26232736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelfishxxx/pseuds/Angelfishxxx
Summary: He Tian just wishes he could fix the mistake he made. But it's too late, and the only thing left is regret.
Relationships: He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days), Mo Guanshan (19 Days)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 113





	Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I know I put it on the tags, but... it's angst. Sorry :(

He Tian is not really sure how his feet brought him here, right in front of a certain door of an apartment somewhere in the city.

Holding a bouquet of flower, he tries to control his pounding heart. He raises his free hand, but stops in the middle air. He stares at the intimidatingly red bell. It's as if the bell mocks him for being a total coward. His stomach churned in anticipation of what could happen. It won't end well, and he reaps what he sows.

It's been two years since he left Mo Guan Shan. Left him for an arranged marriage his father forced him to.

\---

Of course, at first he blatantly refused, and that went on until his 27th birthday.

His brother called, and he sounded unsteady.

"Please," and honestly, that's all he remembered. Deep inside his heart, he had known that it would happen. Of course, threatening to harm his lover would work. Even his brother is powerless against that prick. He loves Mo Guan Shan too much to let it happen.

So he signed the paper his father handed. The malice on He Tian's expression never left even after he looked away.

He Tian pondered in his apartment, trying to plot his next movements, thinking so hard about some kind of outcome that won't hurt Guan Shan. But he chuckled loudly at himself.

They've dated for ten years, of course it's going to hurt!

He Tian took his phone, and he texted Mo Guan Shan to come the next day after his work. After the message sent, he throwed his phone to the ceiling, only to have it fall back to his head.

\---

When he talked to Mo Guan Shan about it, he was not ready for the look of hurt Mo Guan Shan showed.

"...huh," is all Mo Guan Shan said while he stepped inside He Tian's apartment with groceries in both hands. He found his way to the kitchen to do what he usually does.

He Tian fell silent. He almost doubted Mo Guan Shan feelings, if not for the shaky voice leaving his lips suddenly,

"Yeah, I'll break up with you," Mo Guan Shan paused, taking a deep breath, "but let me sleep beside you for just.. one more night."

That made He Tian weak on his knees. He wanted to undo it all, cancelling everything that had been done. He regretted his rash actions. Why did he signed that stupid paper? There's no going back.

He thought, 'Let's just bring Mo and his mother far away, we'll run', but the dissappointment in Mo Guan Shan's face is slapping him back to the reality.

He Tian tried, "Mo, I could--"

"You can't even do such a simple shit?" Mo sneered. He Tian felt his blood rushed at that question.

"Let's fucking talk this out! You've never been like this before, what's wrong with you?" He Tian snapped. He knew that it's his fault, but he hated how Mo Guan Shan given up so easily. Mo Guan Shan wanted to yell too, but he felt so tired. Both physically and mentally. His shoulders slumped just like his heart.

"Why?" Mo started, "You don't even love me." He Tian knitted his eyebrows even more than he already had.

"That's not even close to the truth. I did this for you-"

Then Mo Guan Shan finally snapped.

"Don't fucking make excuses! I never heard it came out from your shitty mouth! Not even once!" Mo Guanshan spitted his last three words especially harsh. It felt like a knife, and it hurted. He felt like crying, but Mo Guan Shan beat him to it. His tears has flowed down, and Mo Guan Shan won't even bother to hide it. It's no use, they know that they both are hurting.

"I love you," is all He Tian could mutter, and it felt so foreign in his mouth. Why had he forgotten such an important thing? He's right, communication had never been his speciality. Mo Guan Shan had always told him the words he wanted to hear, including how much he loves He Tian. Which always answered by smartass comment that he thought was witty.

"Piss off. It's too late now," Mo Guan Shan sighed, "Just... let's sleep. It's our last night. Take it or leave it." How could Mo Guan Shan be so brave to utter such things? He's such a coward. Talking to Mo Guan Shan should have been the first thing he has done.

That night, He Tian held Mo Guan Shan in his bed while crying like a child.

\--  
He Tian pushed the goddamned bell at last. Not long after, the sounds of footsteps echoed, making He Tian nervous. He hides the flowers behind his back.

The door opened to reveal a man he didn't know. A bit taller than him and slightly tanned. But he looks nice, and he smiled,

"Hey," the man said. He Tian backs up a little to check the name plate. He didn't make a mistake.

"Is uh... Guan Shan here?" He Tian said with a confused tone.

"Oh, you're here for him? Wait, I'll call him." Then the guy turned his back to He Tian, leaving the door open.

"Mo, a friend is here to see you!" and He Tian froze at that. Holy shit. Mo Guan Shan is really here. He hears Mo Guan Shan protesting, something about pausing his game.

And suddenly Mo Guan Shan came to his view. Oh, how he misses the little red ball of fluff. He feels a pang stabbing his heart, a rush of memories suddenly going through his head. Mo Guan Shan looks dumbfounded, and maybe He Tian looks as stupid as he is. And then Mo Guan Shan just sighed.

"Ge, I'm leaving for a half an hour, okay?"

\---  
He Tian feels like shit. Who is that guy? Is there something going on between them? He Tian watched Mo Guan Shan fiddles the flowers from him. They are sitting on the swings in the nearby park.

"What are you doing here?" Mo finally asks.

"I just want to know how you're doing." honestly, He Tian also wanted to ask who was the guy back in his apartment. But it's not his business anymore, and he has a wife himself. Strictly for business.

"How about you? Got a child to take care of?" Mo Guan Shan intended to joke, but it sounds cruder than he expected. Oh well. He Tian just closes his eyes. Mo Guan Shan huffs.

"Well, thank you. But I can't take this, after all."

"Why? I'm not asking us to get back together," He Tian responded almost immediately and he panics. Mo Guan Shan takes a deep breath,

"That guy back in the apartment, he's- he's my boyfriend."

It felt like an ice going through his heart. The words feel hurt and cold, and He Tian just stares as Mo Guan Shan tried to give the flowers back.

"I love you." He Tian said. He looks hurt and so vulnerable, but Mo Guan Shan only nodded.

"Don't say that." Mo almost growls. He looks away, cause it hurts him too to see He Tian's being like this. He Tian noticed that Mo Guan Shan's brows are knitted as always. He Tian missed it so, so much. But it's too suffocating, and he swears he can feel his heart breaking to pieces.

"Can I hug you? Please?" He Tian gulped, not ready for the answer that feels so obvious.

"No," Mo Guan Shan finally stared at He Tian,

"I told you that night was the last, didn't I?" and both of them almost laughed for how cheesy it sounded. But it's true. They can't go back. It's too late to mend the broken pieces.

He Tian gathers his last bit of courage to finally say,

"I hope you're happy, Momo." He Tian smiles lightly.

"You too, chicken dick. Don't mess up this time." He Tian just nods and stares back at the orbs he always defines as beautiful. Mo Guan Shan slowly walks away, going back to his apartment.

As Mo Guan Shan finally dissapeared from his sight, He Tian cursed to the sky. He feels so frustated, and his tears are threatening to fall down. Regret is the only thing remained in him, and it sure hurts like a bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first fic lol so comments are appreciated! English is my second language, but don't hold back the criticism. I can take it ;)


End file.
